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How to Talk to a Loved One About Going to Rehab

Around 10 million people in 2021 admitted to using some form of illicit substance other than marijuana, and 50 million more used cannabis. With only around 6% of people going to rehab to seek help, drug use is a serious and ongoing problem. So if someone you know needs help, how do you start that conversation without pushing them further away?


The following advice should give you a solid grounding of how to begin talking to someone with the intent of getting them help. Although understand, not everyone is the same, so use this as a starting block only.



Make Sure You Understand the Problem


The process of talking about drug addiction can be very emotional, and a great deal of stress for anyone involved. As such, when you want to encourage them to go to rehab you must approach it with a good level of knowledge from the get-go.


Start by researching the substance they have started using. You should learn as much as you can about both its short and long-term effects. At the same time, look into how it can impact someone's mental and physical health.


You should also learn about addiction in general, how it affects someone physically, and how it impacts their life. Learn about the cycle of addiction, as well as how withdrawal symptoms might cause someone harm. You should also understand the possibility of relapse, both for their benefit as well as your own.


Come at this issue with the mindset that addiction is a disease, not a personal failing. This will help you be in the correct mindset for talking to the person, and it is also something the addicted person needs to understand.

If you do not have a good base of knowledge on which to discuss these things, it can be a much harder conversation.


In a worst-case scenario, the person using drugs will find it harder to trust what you have to say and may shut you out.

Also, before you begin to discuss rehab, you should research locations where one can seek the best treatment possible. This gives you very real and specific options to talk over, instead of only discussing it in theory.



Pick a Safe Place


Talking about drug addiction can be very hard for many people. It is important the person you speak to feels comfortable and supported when you start the conversation. Thus, make sure wherever you start to talk to them, you make sure it fits their needs.


Make sure the place is somewhere you can have a private conversation for a long period. It needs to be somewhere you will not face interruption, nor one where people are likely to overhear things people say. Avoid doing this at any major function or in any public space, as they will feel either judged or like they cannot speak without others hearing.

If you know of somewhere the other person feels especially secure, aim for that place. If they have a "den", or if you can use their living room, such a location is perfect. So long as you would not be considered an intruder in that place, you can increase how safe they feel while having a hard conversation.


It may be necessary for you to make special arrangements to get the person there. If so, make every effort to ensure they do so. Try to reduce the stress not only on you but also on them to give them the best chance of being receptive to talking.



Choose an Appropriate Time


If someone has a drug problem, they may not always be available, and the drug addiction itself may impact how well they engage with others. As such, try to find a time when they would have the freedom to talk to you.


Try to understand when they are most likely to be sober, or at least most capable of talking calmly with you. Not only will this allow them to process what you are saying, but they are much less likely to become too emotional for the conversation. 


Try to also remove all pressure from commitments. Find a time when they have no major life events or anything scheduled for the rest of the day. This allows them to focus only on what you have to say and not on any other commitment.



Express Real Concern and Love


The most popular piece of advice when talking to someone facing addictions like drug abuse is to use "I" statements. This lets you express your feelings and concerns openly. It also helps avoid you seeming confrontational, such as if you center the conversation on their behavior.


Examples include:

  • "I have been worried about..."
  • "I noticed that..."
  • "I get scared when..."


Also, try to be specific about what you discuss. Mention how they might have had mood swings, or their appearance might have changed. If they no longer do things they used to enjoy, bring that up too.


By being specific, you avoid making assumptions and allow them to respond to their own actions or otherwise face them.


Make sure you also act with empathy. Try to let them know you have worries about them and that you can see how their actions might be causing harm to them.


You should also avoid closed body language. Be open, try not to cross your arms, and remain facing them. Keep eye contact if you can, to show you are truly engaged with them and you have real concerns.



Emphasize How It Affects Them


People who engage in substance abuse might downplay any issues in their life to try and normalize their behavior. Pointing out areas where it has had a real impact may cause them to re-assess how they have acted.

Point out how the issue has caused any problems in their:


  • Physical health
  • Mental health
  • Relationships
  • Social life
  • Finances
  • Career
  • Personal goals
  • Self-worth
  • Personal freedoms


Try to be specific to allow them to think about real impacts, not possible ones. Encourage them to reflect on each of these and compare it with how they used to be before the drug abuse. Allow them to consider how their life could return to something more akin to how it was before they started using drugs.



Emphasize How It Affects Others


This can offer the person an opportunity to see how their actions cause direct harm. Things you could ask them to consider include how the use of drugs has an impact on:


  • Their family
  • Their friends
  • Their children
  • How much people trust them
  • Any debts they have placed others in
  • Their work and professional relationships


Again, be specific here. They need to understand real effects, not theoretical ones.


Also, make sure you make it clear that discussing these is not about blame or creating feelings of guilt. Highlight these to help them recognize how much they need rehab, encouraging them to do so for the sake of a larger community.



Offer Your Understanding


Make sure that you pay attention to the other person and what they have to say. Learn how to engage in active listening to offer them your full attention.


As mentioned above, use your body language to show that they have your focus, and try to avoid interrupting them when they speak. This creates a place of safety for them to express themselves when they need to, where both you and them can share emotions in the open.


When they talk about how they feel, make sure to understand these feelings are real, even if you do not understand why they feel them. Ask questions to increase your comprehension of their situation, and use phrases like:


  • "It sounds to me like you have had a tough experience"
  • "I can only imagine how this situation must be hard for you"
  • "You sound like you have gone through a lot"


Despite understanding, though, remember your aim is to get them the help they need.



Offer Your Support


When you can, offer to help them. While the fight to recover from addiction is theirs, you can do research for them or accompany them on their journey where appropriate. Act as a cheerleader, but ensure they take the steps to recovery themselves.


Make sure they understand how much you are willing to commit to their health and ongoing improvement. However, you are free to set boundaries. Rehabilitation or any treatment can be very challenging for everyone involved, even you.


At the same time, you should try to respect their decisions. They are the ones who will need to seek out treatment, so if they refuse it, pushing may only make their situation worse. This does not mean they are free from consequences, and people may pull back from relationships if they feel the situation is untenable.



Start Mentioning Treatment


When you feel the moment is right, mention that many different treatment options are available. Talk about therapy, counseling, and rehabilitation. They should understand how the options are varied, and how they can help in many different ways.


Discuss the methods of solving their issue that are available. With the research you have done, you should have a good level of knowledge you can impart. This allows them to make better decisions further down the line.



Learn About and Address Their Fears


When you start mentioning treatment or rehab, they might suggest they are scared of the processes. During your research, you should have picked up some information that can allay many of their fears. Still, if they have other concerns, some things you can do to help them include:


  • Provide facts that address any specific fears
  • Offer to visit any rehab facility with them
  • Talk about applying to rehab on their behalf
  • State you can research any issues they have
  • Promote the benefits of rehab
  • Assure them their issues will remain private
  • Talk about how a structured day might help
  • Speak about recovery as a journey


It is important that you also do not present rehab as a single solution to fix everything. Recovery is a journey, and anyone undergoing it may have trouble at times. It is important to be realistic and honest about this, but also ensure the other person knows people can help support them when it gets harder.



Understand They May Not Want To


If they have serious concerns that put them off entirely, treat it like any other part of the conversation. Listen, validate them, and explore their reasoning for such a direction.


While you should respect their freedom to not go should they not wish to, you are free to inform them of how that would make you feel. If you have any testimonials of people who have been to rehab, especially those who resisted at first, use them here. Normalizing the process could cause them to feel much more comfortable saying yes.



Encourage Working With a Professional


Regardless of if they resist rehab, encourage them to seek out some kind of treatment. Working with a specialist such as an addiction counselor can give the person both guidance and direction. 


To reiterate, such things are only steps on a journey. There may be many treatments or different levels of support they need in the future.



Re-State Your Love and Support


As you work through every step during the conversation, and after, ensure you remain supportive. The person you speak to may need time to make a decision, no matter what that decision is. During this process, make sure you remind them of your love and that you can help them where it makes sense.


At all times, remain open to talking, continue to research, and make sure you engage in your own self-care to avoid the issue causing you more problems.



Making Going to Rehab Less Stressful


With the above advice in mind, you should be much more likely to convince someone you know that going to rehab is a valid option. Still, even if they choose to visit a facility, it is useful to know which location would be best for them.


We provide facilities to people going through these difficult periods in their life. To assist, we offer medical care, counseling, and many other treatments. So, fill out our residency application and find out if our facilities are right for the person you know today.